There are times when you can still be friends with your ex and the times when it’s just impossible. This is because it’s not often that you come across couples that separate calmly, sincerely wishing that their ex finds greater happiness with someone else. There’s more likely to be resentment, jealousy, fear and sometimes hatred than tenderness and agreement.
Being friends can be a complicated decision that can go both ways. On one hand, life could be perfect even after the breakup. On the other, becoming a pal of your ex could do more damage than good.
There are many things you need to consider before you extend a hand of friendship to an ex or else it can make your life a nightmare.
Below are scenarios on when can you be friends with an ex:
You had a happy breakup
Well, happy may be an exaggeration here. But did both of you break up mutually because both of you felt like the relationship wasn’t giving the happiness that both of you deserved? Mutual and happy breakups are easy to turn into friendship.
You have a lot of common friends
If both of you share a lot of common friends and don’t really want to separate your friends or create an awkward get-together when you bump into your ex, perhaps it’s better off staying friends. Of course, you can still stay friends and keep your distance, can’t you?
You bump into each all the time
Do you work in the same office? Are you in the same class? Do you live next to each other or are both of you neighbours? If you find that you have no option but to meet each other all the time, perhaps it’s better to raise a peace flag and friend each other on facebook. You could just wave or say ‘hi’, or even have a conversation once in a while.
When you’ve got a lot to gain
Have you just broken up with your boss, or someone who can potentially give you a leg up or open a lot of big doors in your life? This is just dirty and you’re being friends for all the wrong reasons, but hey, this is life. If you can work for someone you hate, can’t you stay friends with your ex?
Scenarios when you can’t be friends with an ex
You’ve had an on off romance
If you find yourself getting confused over your feelings for your ex-turned-lover-turned-ex all the time, perhaps it would be best to avoid becoming friends with them.
You’re madly in love with your ex
You may have put up a brave face and mutually broken up with your ex, but when you look back at the relationship, do you wish you could still be in the relationship? Sometimes, a relationship needs a breakup to really understand its real value. But unless your ex wants to date you again, don’t stay in touch with them.
You can’t bear the thought of you ex going out with someone else
It’s not jealousy. In fact, you know for certain that you would never want to date your ex ever again. But somewhere deep inside, you can’t stand to see your ex in someone else’s arms. This is a confusing emotion to experience, but don’t worry, you’re not alone. Just stay away and lose all touch with your ex.
Your ex dumped you
While it’s acceptable to stay friends after a mutual breakup, it’s just not acceptable to stay friends with someone who walked out on you and left you with a broken heart. And don’t even consider it if your ex cheated on you.
So can you be friends with an ex? Visualize these scenarios well and ask yourself if you’re ready to be friends. A wrong answer could make your life a lot more miserable than you can imagine.