These are the towns where the likelihood of you catching an STD is more than anywhere else. That’s if you don’t do a ‘De Gea’ and wear gloves. Which are those centers of civilization where you just don’t just go dipping your ‘shuma’ in random female holes? Well, here they are.
1.Nairobi: The capital city of Kenya is also the capital of sin. People’s minds are as dirty as the shorts of a primary school kid during ‘Games Time’. Women are quick to open their legs and men are quick to use their private parts all in the name of having fun. No one is loyal in Nairobi. The person you’ve dated for years is probably getting ploughed by someone else when you aren’t around.
2. Salgaa: This is Kenya’s version of Sodom and Gomorhah. Religious minds and naysayers have even argued that Salgaa;s high level of sin is the reason so many road accidents happen around the area. There are lots of prostiitutes in Salgaa and for this specific rason, truck drivers often make overnight stops to quench their thirst
3. Malindi: An influx of thirsty Italian tourists has made the area a lungula hub. Girls as young as 15 sell their bodies to rich men just to make a buck. The boys too love older women.
4. Busia: In this border town, people criss-cross between Kenya and Uganda. That means there’s a blend of all kinds of diseases. In Busia, you can get lungula for a whole night by just paying 50 shillings. Another interesting thing that happens in Busia? Boda boda operators get seduced by elderly mamas who are desperate to have something between their legs. These operators end up shagging these mamas after taking them to their destinations.
5. Kisumu: The lakeside town is cool in many ways and the women are fabulous too. But there are lots of sexually active men who are unwilling to use CDs. That means the STDs are many
6. Machakos: Lack of water in Ukambani means one thing –thirst (pun intended). No wonder Machakos is renowned for being host to some of the most ratchet events like Masaku 7s
7. Mombasa: My friend Chim once told me that in Mombasa, malayas even cook for you and boil bathing water for you. OOOh….how sweet. But beware. The favourite hobby of every young person in Mombasa is coitus
8. Nakuru: The town seems quiet but it’s full of Vegas-like activities, especially in the night. The clubs are awesome and the lodgings are always packed
9. Thika: The conductors call it ‘dhika dhika’. The town is full of students from the countless universities that have popped up around the areas. You can bet that the mingling of sponsors and students is at an all time high
10. Meru: Here there are groups of young guys who do nothing but eat miraa and chase mamas all day. It’s hard not to get into venereal trouble with these kinds of circumstances
