Where do jealousy come from? They leave the interior because they belong to that natural instinct that we humans have and, they say, also some animals.
But that jealousy is natural does not mean that we should allow it in a relationship or other relationship. Jealousy can appear in any type of relationship, at work, in friendship, in family, but it is the jealousy in love that most concern us and in which we are investigating.
Jealousy is not born of love
Even today many people think that a person is jealous because he loves his partner so much that if he does not feel jealous, that person does not care enough. And anything farter from the reality. That thought is also as toxic as it is dangerous, so we must clarify things about the origin of jealousy. Jealousy is born in many places, except in love.
Jealousy born of the feeling of possession
My partner, my boyfriend, my girlfriend, my husband, my wife. Have you ever heard the expression ‘you’re mine’? Take care of her and we hope you never hear her no matter how poetic, passionate and romantic. The feeling of possession is one of the great dangers of love, or should we say of evil love, because true love is free, does not possess, does not dominate, does not contain.
Possessive people are jealous because they consider their partner to be their property, which is possession and, of course, no one wants to lose what they own. Nobody is happy to lose your home, your car or, even easier, do not despair when you can not find the mobile phone? It is really desperate to lose what you own, in that we all agree. In what may not have fallen some is that people are not part of the particular heritage.
Jealousy born of selfishness
Selfishness is also the origin and cause of jealousy. People who believe themselves entitled to everything by being who they are and among all that to which they are entitled is their partner. Selfish people only think about them, lack empathy and are unable to imagine that their behavior may be negatively affecting their partner, the one they are supposed to love. But no, an egoist can only love himself.
These selfish may be accompanied by narcissists. Did you think that a person accustomed to look at the navel can not be jealous? It can be and most are, especially in the field of love when they consider their partner an exclusive trophy. Only for me. And here we run into the feeling of possession again.
Jealousy born of low self-esteem
Having low self-esteem causes countless consequences and jealousy is just one of them. In this case they are mixed with emotional dependence. Who’s going to love me? It is almost natural to feel an atrocious fear that the only person who has deigned to love you one day stops doing it, but that does not prevent it from being a toxic feeling caused by low self-esteem and having to be eliminated as soon as possible.
Jealousy born of insecurity
But insecurity is the main focus of jealousy. An insecurity that is closely related to the previous points. What causes a person to think that he could not bear to have his partner stop loving her? Would not you rather have your partner break the relationship at the very moment he stopped loving you? Do you really want to live with someone at all costs even knowing he no longer loves you?
It is insecurity, lack of confidence in oneself, lack of independence that makes some people need someone else, that couple without which they can not supposedly live.
Jealousy born of fantasy
Insecurity, feeling of possession, selfishness, emotional dependence, low self-esteem … are imprecise and ambiguous places, right? If you are looking for a more concrete origin for jealousy you find it in fantasy. It is in the imagination and not in reality that jealousy arises. In that movie you believe when your partner receives a call and is going to answer it to another room. There begins a script worthy of Hollywood in which the last thing that you think is the reality, that goes away with the phone not to hide, but so that you can continue listening to the informative one.