It’s no secret that Kenyans who go to work love the weekends. Who doesn’t like to unwind after a week of a somewhat busy and borderline boring week?
It’s even more exciting if there’s a public holiday and we get an extra day off, making it a long weekend.
I don’t know about other parts of the world but long weekends in Kenya are really treasured…people make travel and party plans you’d think it’s the Christmas holiday … Updates on Facebook range from ‘Mombasa are you ready for us?’ to ‘Long weekend yaaas, Diani twasija’ …
The problem however is going back to work. We are never psychologically prepared to end the weekend and go back to work.
Here are common excuses that Kenyans use to call in sick:
1. Food poisoning
We all know how bad a stomach upset can be. You’re not in a position to work, you can barely even walk; worse still, a stomach upset more often than not involves vomiting and diarrhea. Your boss will definitely understand that!
Image: TechTimes.com
2. Death of a relative
Don’t dare pretend that you have never ‘killed’ an ‘imaginary’ relative in an attempt to get a free day so as ‘to travel upcountry for a funeral’ the problem with this excuse is that you cannot use it many times. I mean, is your family cursed or what?!…Too many sudden ‘deaths’. The other issue with this excuse is that if you’re lying, it will be hard to express fake emotions when your boss and colleagues console you for your ‘loss’.
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3. Period pains
This only applies to women. (Duh) We don’t even have to lie about it. If the period pains are too much, we will just be a cabbage at the office writhing in pain. Plus, male bosses get really uncomfortable having to deal with that whole conversation and they will simply tell you a quick “Feel better” and voila! Free day.
Photo: Benjamin Rusnak
4. Kids
If you’re a parent, many are the times you’re required to be in school for a function such as sports day or prize giving day or the kid’s birthday, or a situation where by the kid falls ill. That’s a valid excuse as you have to take the child to hospital and that guarantees you a free day.
Image: Anna-Mart Kruger
5. Toothache
This is the mother of all pains. There’s nothing you can do when your tooth is aching. The problem with this excuse is that your boss could tell you to go to the dentist during the morning hours and come back in the afternoon. So if it’s a lie, you’re likely going to be caught.
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6. Minor injury
Like spraining an ankle at the gym … this is not a very good excuse though cause you have to fake a limp and bandaged leg for a couple of days.
7. Matatu strike
There are days when matatus decide to strike and if your boss has no idea where you live, you can use that as an excuse to call in claiming you cannot find a matatu to work. Hopefully your boss is not the kind that will tell you to take a boda boda. LOL…
Image: Nation.co.ke
