It hurts a lot and they all hurt. When a relationship breaks, you enter into a spiral of physical and emotional pain that, although at first seems impossible, always, always comes out. But who suffers most from the breakup: women or men? It has always been accepted that women are the most affected by a separation, but let’s see if it is true.
The danger of generalizing in relationships
Generalizing on the subject of sentimental relationships carries with it certain risks, although sometimes it is impossible to detach ourselves from these generalizations and certain stereotypes. But when making a study or an investigation, we can not look at the particular cases or the exceptions, but in general, in the frequent, in the common. And what is the general thing about a breakup of a couple?
The norm is that both members of the couple suffer with the break. The one who leaves and the one who is left, the one who leaves and the one who is abandoned, who decides and who accepts the decision, whether male or female. But we may not take it the same way, that physical and emotional pain may be more evident in women and that men carry it differently. Is it so?
Breaking up of partners in men and women
According to a study from Binghamton University it is so. Women suffer more with breakup. The study asked the participants to evaluate on a scale of 1 to 10 the pain they experienced before the heartbreak and the data were as follows:
1. As for emotional pain, women scored an average of 6.84 points of suffering, while men put it at 6.58. Pretty similar, right?
2. However, the differences come to assess physical pain: a 4.21 in women compared to 3.75 in men. Because it is true, with the breakup hurts more than the heart, but that pain is noticed by women.
How the men and women overcome the break
But one thing is for women to suffer more from the breakup and another thing is how and when they completely overcome that breakup. The general attitude in facing this break also presents many differences in men and women. While women accept pain, men deny it. While women work to overcome the breakup, men ignore the stages of mourning.
That is why women come out strengthened from a breakup, grow up, learn and feel happier when finally the mourning of the breakup ends, and more so when they rise from the fall prepared to rise again. They have suffered, they have been aware of the pain, they have evaluated the errors, they have learned and they have regained their strength.
For their part, men refuse to accept that pain, as if they had no right to suffer. They do not take time to adapt to the new situation, much less ask for help. ‘It’s only a break’, it would be the attitude. And it’s true, it’s only a break, but not by denying the obvious will the pain disappear.
So if you see that while you are still dizzy by the blow of the break, your ex-boyfriend already appears happy on social networks with another girl or, most likely with his ex-girlfriend, do not think that he has overcome the break in record time, it is simply that he has not taken the time he needs to get over it, like when he hid the problems under the carpet instead of solving them. You remember?
Well, you will go ahead and have learned a million things that will serve you to be happier alone or in a new relationship. For his part, he will continue to make the same mistakes again and again. It will have hurt you more, but you have also learned to profit from this painful experience.
