Planning to visit your in-laws for the first time ? here are tips you must have at the back of your mind for a smooth ride with your new second family.
1) Research about Them
Know what to expect, Ask your partner about their culture, how they greet over there, don’t go and say “Hi, good afternoon” when they expect you to kneel or lie down to greet, You could learn how to greet in their language too (if you are from a different tribe) , your in-laws will be happy to know you are trying to learnt their ways.
Research about the people you’ll be meeting, so you don’t say things that may embarrass or offend anyone, like if her elder brother lost his wife, don’t go and ask him “how’s your wife”, that you weren’t aware will not be an excuse. Research about how they eat, their individual likes and dislikes etc Don’t go to your in-laws place for the first time unprepared. First Impression goes a Long way
2) Dress Well
As a Lady, don’t dress like you want to seduce all the Men in his family, even if short skirts is your trade, try and dress well that day, Dress decently, don’t be going to visit a Mother in law to be who believes deeply in decent dressing and then dress anyhow, exposing your cleavages and laps, before you hear “My Son, let me have a word with you inside”
As a young Man, dress responsibly, don’t dress like a gate-man to see your in-laws, don’t wear rumpled clothes, or shoes that look like what a tailor sewed. Apply good perfume with a not too pungent aroma. Represent Well. You will be ADDRESSED the way you DRESS
3) Don’t go without a Gift
Don’t go empty handed, it may sound cliche, but don’t ignore it. Your gift should be tailor made to each pardner, don’t just buy any gift you like, the father or mother may have allergies, dislikes, so ask your spouse what best to buy go their parents,
Don’t buy for instance, alcoholic wine to a Pentecostal Christian Family as gift, you have failed exam before you even got the question paper. If their father or mother were a writer, a leather jotter will be a perfect gift. Please don’t be cheap, don’t buy bread by the road side to present to your in-laws,. We are in the 21st century. Be creative
4) Avoid excessive display of physical Intimacy.
Don’t go and visit your in-laws and be groping or touching their son or daughter all over in their presence, Avoid too much emotional display. It’ll make the meeting awkward, Sit down where you were asked to and respect yourself.
They know you love each other, Keep your hands in your pocket and don’t let the devil use you. Don’t give the impression you both have been having sex. |hued wonder if you are the right person for their child, and You would attract unnecessary suspicion and questions that way.
5) Avoid pressing your Phone excessively.
If can come out as disrespectful, Especially those of you that are addicted to Facebook, you didn’t leave your house to your in-laws just to Facebook and press phone. You came for business. Focus.
Switch off the phone or ignore it and focus on making a good impression and befriending your prospective in-laws. Your father in law can not be calling you and you are obviously lost, scrolling and commenting on Facebook..
6) Interact
You are there to make friends. Talk, don’t keep to yourself. Laugh, ask questions, answer questions, interact lovingly, compliment the food, compliment their home, compliment their looks, compliment things worthy of compliment, smile, communicate and have Fun Don’t go there and be looking like someone that is lost, as if you left your brain and tongue at home. Leave a good impression on their hearts and they’ll look forward to your next visit.
7) Don’t forget table Manners
We know you like food, but that’s not the reason you came, don’t eat and be asking for extra 2 plates, and take sway, there’ll be subsequent visits for you to do that, don’t eat and be dropping soup everywhere, don’t talk with your mouth full, when you are not Shrek. Behave when you are offered food.
Don’t forget your home training and embarrass your village people, they are watching you. Don’t go there and make trouble, even if your profile on Facebook reads “trouble is my middle name” Be a preacher of love at your in-laws place, if anyone intentionally says any thing uncouth at you, smile and act as I you didn’t hear it, don’t reply in like manner.
If anything is said or done that displeases you, keep quiet, you can take it out on or rather sort it out with your partner when you get back when you leave. Don’t go to your in-laws place and pick a fight with his mother of her father.
9) Be Respectful
Be respectful, don’t go there and act as if everybody is your mate.
Greet those who are elder to you
10) Offer to Help.
If there’s work to be done, offer to help, it’s not eye service, it’s what you’ll do if you were at you own parent’s place. If you see his Mom or her Dad doing something you can and know how to do, offer to assist, don’t raise your legs for his Mum or her Mum to sweep., It’s not done
11) Don’t try too hard to please them
Be yourself. No lies, you don’t have to agree with everything you see and hear before they’ll like you, respectfully opine your views,. You are a Chelsea fan, and his Dad is a Man U fan, you don’t have to become a Man U fan just to impress him. Argue lovingly and respectfully, you still earn his respect.
Don’t become a “Yes Sir, Yes Ma” person, talk with your convictions and beliefs but respectfully, and don’t argue with your in-laws, because some of you are journalists, know when to let an issue drop. And most importantly, even if the first visit didn’t go well, don’t panic, there will be plenty opportunities to make up in future….. God bless your Relationship.
