No matter how the first visit goes, do not lose hope. Opportunities to make good second impressions will always abound should you miss it the first time.
Here is what to consider when choosing to go and visit your in laws.
1) Research about Them.
Know what to expect, Ask your partner about their culture, how they greet over there, don’t go and say “Hi, good afternoon” when they expect you to kneel or lie down to greet,
You could learn how to greet in their language too (if you are from a different tribe) , your in-laws will be happy to know you are trying to learn their ways.
Reseach about the people you’ll be meeting, so you don’t say things that may embarrass or offend anyone, like if her elder brother lost his wife, don’t go and ask him “how’s your wife”, that you weren’t aware will not be an excuse, they may instantly dislike you.
Reseach about how they eat, their individual likes and dislikes etc. Don’t go to your in-laws place for the first time unprepared. First Impression goes a Long way
2) Dress Well
As a Lady, don’t dress like you want to seduce all the Men in his family, even if short skirts is your trade, try and dress well that day,
Dress decently, don’t be going to visit a Mother-in-law to be who believes deeply in decent dressing and then dress exposing your cleavages and laps, before you hear “My Son, let me have a word with you inside”
As a young Man, dress responsibly, don’t dress like a gateman to see your in-laws, don’t wear rumpled clothes, or shoes that look like what a tailor sewed.
Apply good perfume with a not too pungent aroma. Represent Well. You will be ADDRESSED the way you DRESS
3) Don’t go without a Gift
Don’t go empty handed, it may sound cliche, but don’t ignore it. Your gift should be tailor made to suit them, don’t just buy any gift you like, the father or mother may have allergies, dislikes, so ask your spouse what best to buy for their parents,
Don’t buy for instance, alcoholic wine to a pentecostal Christian Family as gift, you would have failed exam even before you got the question papers that way.
If their father or mother were a writer, a leather jotter or notepad will be a perfect gift. Please don’t be cheap, don’t buy bread by the road side to present to your in-laws,. We are in the 21st century. Be creative
4) Avoid excessive display of physical Intimacy.
Don’t go and visit your in-laws and be groping or touching their son or daughter all over in their presence, Avoid too much emotional and physical display of affection. It’ll make the meeting awkward
Sit down where you were asked to and respect yourself. They know you love each other, Keep your hands in your pocket and don’t let the devil use you.
Don’t give the impression you both have been having sex. |They’d wonder if you are the right person for their child morally speaking, and You would attract unnecessary suspicion and questions that way.
5) Avoid pressing your Phone excessively.
It can come out as disrespectful. Especially those of you that are addicted to pressing phone, you didn’t leave your house to your in-laws just to Facebook and press phone.
You came for business. Focus.
Switch off the phone or ignore it and focus on making a good impression and befriending your prospective in-laws.
Your father in law can not be calling you and you are obviously lost, scrolling and commenting on Facebook..
6) Interact
You are there to make friends, talk, don’t keep to yourself.
Laugh, ask questions, answer questions, interact lovingly, compliment the food, compliment their home, compliment their looks, compliment things worthy of compliment, smile, communicate and have Fun
Don’t go there and be looking like someone that is lost, as if you left your brain and tongue at home. Leave a good impression on their hearts and they’ll look forward to your next visit.
7) Don’t forget table Manners
We know you like food, but that’s not the reason you came, don’t eat and be asking for extra 2 plates, and take away, there’ll be subsequent visits for you to do that, don’t eat and be dropping soup everywhere, don’t talk with your mouth full, when you are not Shrek.
Behave when you are offered food…
Don’t forget your home training and embarrass yourself, they are watching you.
8. Don’t Pick a Fight
Don’t go there and make trouble, even if your profile on Facebook reads “trouble is my middle name”
Be a preacher of love at your in-laws place, if anyone intentionally says any thing uncouth at you, smile and act as If you didn’t hear it, don’t reply in like manner,
If anything is said or done that displeases you, keep quiet, you can take it out on or rather sort it out with your partner later when you leave.
Don’t go to your in-laws place and pick a fight with his mother of her father. It can end a Relationship.
9) Be Respectful/Offer to Help
Be respectful, don’t go there and act as if everybody is your mate.
Greet those who are elder to you
If there’s work to be done, offer to help, it’s not eye service, it’s what you’ll do if you were at you own parent’s place.
If you see his Mom or her Dad doing something you can and know how to do, offer to assist, don’t raise your legs for his Mum or her Mum to sweep the floor., It’s not done
10) Don’t try too hard to please them
Be yourself. No lies, you don’t have to agree with everything you see and hear before they’ll like you, respectfully opine your views,.
You are a Chelsea fan, and his Dad is a Man U fan, you don’t have to become a Man U fan just to impress him. Argue lovingly and respectfully, you will still earn his respect.
Don’t become a “Yes Sir, Yes Ma” person, talk with your convictions and beliefs but respectfully, and don’t argue with your in-laws, because some of you are journalists, know when to let an issue drop.
11) Most Importantly,
Pray before going. Some in laws can be difficult, pray and commit your visit into the hand of God, so you’ll find favor in their eyes even when they initially were set to dislike you.
