The phrase “everyone deserves a second chance” may be hovering in your head when it comes to your ex, that person with whom you broke up and vowed not to return so as not to fall into the same thing as before. However, there can always be something that piques your curiosity about trying again.
With the pandemic, unexpected emotions arose around isolation and loneliness, leading many to think about their ex-partners and even get in touch with them.
In fact, 1 in 5 people have admitted to getting close to their ex-partners in light of the pandemic, according to experts from the Kinsey Institute, an interdisciplinary research center that has conducted studies on sexual behaviors and attitudes during the pandemic.
These are 5 questions to ask yourself.
Why did you break up with your ex?
You don’t have to examine each of the things that could have caused your breakup, but raise those internal and external pressures that played a role. Infidelity, lack of compatibility or disinterest are internal issues while the external implies the disapproval of a family member, geographical distance or lack of time to build a healthy relationship.
Are you romanticizing the relationship?
Nostalgia is deceptive. We tend to look back on old relationships with some fondness, omitting the pain of the breakup. The reality is that we leave those relationships for a reason and we will likely feel that pain again when we return. It is easier to remember the good than the bad.
Do you cling to the past?
Any relationship that has not been built on a solid foundation will collapse. If you enter, you return with that person, the negative feelings that arose in the first round may be present. To get back with an ex, you must learn to see the relationship as a whole new relationship, which helps you address your feelings in a healthier way.
They’ve changed?
This question is not only about your ex but also about you. Have you worked to change those toxic behaviors that brought you to breaking point? Have you corrected your mistakes and discussed how the relationship would be healthier in the future? Maybe you both had enough time to heal old personal and relationship wounds. Nothing guarantees that a second round will work, and the stark truth is that if the relationship hasn’t been healthy in the past, it likely won’t be in the future without significant effort from both of you.
Can that person bring out the best in you?
Think carefully about what kind of attitudes that person has. This goes hand in hand with the previous question about having worked on your mistakes and hurts. A person with a negative attitude will make you bitter and pessimistic. Someone who supports you and makes you feel confident will always bring out the best in you. What emotions does that person awaken in you?
