Most parents try to do their best for their children, but even the most well-intentioned people make mistakes and their behavior may result in the need for future therapy sessions for the child.
Unfortunately, some parents can make several of these mistakes and fall into the category of toxic parents. Even if it is not intentional, they can end up causing a lot of emotional damage to your children and even affect their development as people.
If you have been through any of the following situations, it is probably because at least one of your parents was at least a little toxic.
1. They are too critical
To receive some criticism from parents is normal, but there is a limit. The right dose of negative feedback ensures that day-to-day activities, such as doing the dishes, are done correctly, but a toxic parent takes criticism to the extreme, extending it to everything the child does.
2. They constantly demand your attention
Toxic parents can reverse roles and place the responsibility of caring for their children on their shoulders by constantly demanding the child’s attention. Perhaps at first glance it may sound to a parent interested in the child’s life, but in reality it is a parasitic relationship that requires too much time and energy on the part of the child.
3. They make toxic “jokes” about you
The number one alert for an abusive relationship is when the person makes you feel inferior, and this is also true for your parents. Jokes about a child’s height, weight or any other characteristic can be very damaging when asked frequently and no child should have to put up with them just because their parents always did.
4. Make you justify terrible behavior
Everyone knows how to identify whether their parents have ever physically abused themselves, but it is more difficult to recognize psychological or emotional abuse. This is because parents are often able to justify their own behavior and to blame the child.
Especially for a child, it is difficult to recognize that the fault is actually in the adult, and therefore, it is normal for the fault of these situations to be internalized and to last until adulthood.
5. They don’t allow you to express negative emotions
Parents who refuse to take care of their children’s emotional needs are paving the way for a future in which the child is not able to deal with his own feelings, especially negative ones. There is nothing wrong with helping an angry child to see the positive side of things, but completely invalidating a child’s feelings makes the task of dealing with them as an adult much more difficult.
6. They scare even older children
Respect and fear do not go hand in hand. If, even as an adult, you are still afraid of your parents, this is a sign that something wrong has happened along your journey. Children need discipline, but good parents are able to impose discipline without having to terrify children.
Whether through severe punishment or harsh words, excessive punishment can cause serious problems for the child in the future.
7. Use guilt and money to control
Any parent from time to time uses the “Everything I do is for you!” Resource, but toxic individuals routinely engage in this form of manipulation.
Despite being an adult, do your parents still try to control you with expensive gifts that come full of expectations? In these cases, if you do not comply with them, you resort to guilt as a form of punishment.
The healthy parents know that their children are not required to nothing in exchange for money or gifts in most cases not even asked.
