Many times we think that our past tensions have been a failure and a waste of time with the wrong person. But behind those feelings of sadness and guilt there is a lot of wisdom. Big lessons are hidden in a break.
Instead of trying to understand “Why did it end?” The question should be “What lessons are I supposed to learn from this?”
8 Beautiful lessons that we can learn to overcome love breakup:
1. People do not belong to you
People are not possessions. This means that you have not right to ever claim to anyone how you should live your life, regardless of how long you have been together.
You cannot control what others do, but you can control how you take it. The best you can do is set healthy boundaries, honoring your self-love and the other person.
2. We all need our space
Being in love with someone does not mean you have to spend every hour of your life with that person, merge your personality with theirs and forget about your own dreams and needs.
Finding love means making the most of the moments you have together and respecting the time you spend alone doing the things that make you feel good. It is very painful to lose oneself in the process of loving another.
3. You complete
You do not need to find your soulmate because you are already an orange. If you are looking for the love that you should be giving yourself, you can never be independent and happy. You will always need others to love you to love yourself.
If you are not happy with yourself, you will not be happy with anyone. If your self-esteem depends on your partner, at the moment you do not have a partner your self-esteem will be on the floor. You have to cultivate self-love and happiness in yourself first to then be able to share it with others.
4. You can only change yourself, so do not fool yourself by
believing that you will change your partner
Of course we can motivate others with our example, but forcing someone to change is not giving them the freedom to do so. Neither is a very effective strategy to get what you want.
People change when they feel the internal desire to change. Being pressured to do so may produce temporary improvements, but it will surely lead to future resentments and reproaches.
People are motivated to change by the example you give, not by the words you say. And if you’re desperate for someone to change, ask yourself what do you do with a person who needs so many fixes.
5. Passion is not eternal
Butterflies in the stomach, dressing to impress, talking on the phone for hours … these are all signs of passion. And all these things usually disappear to make room for love.
Love means accepting an imperfect being and loving him as he is. It is being authentic and sharing your flaws with someone without fear of being judged. When you share with someone the best, the worst and the ugliest of you, love grows.
6. Forgiveness you do not owe to him, you owe it to yourself
The lies you told them, the reproaches, the insults. You can not change what happened, you can not undo your tears and you can not make her come back.
So stop feeling hate, stop thinking about the best revenge you can draw and stop torturing yourself by remembering everything again and again. Please forgive them because they deserve it, but because you deserve some peace.
7. Some people simply come to teach us how to let go
Letting go with real freedom and love for the other person requires understanding and a lot of self-forgiveness. Some relationships that appear in our lives are not labeled “happily ever after”, they come to us simply to teach them to let go.
Being able to let go of your past will allow you to be fully present in your future relationships. Physically and emotionally speaking.
8. You have to recognize what happened to move forward
The best advice that people can give to someone who is going through a break is to keep busy and keep their head on other things. The problem is that sometimes we take it too seriously, and do anything to fill the void that person has left.
But the truth is that we need to cry, listen to our emotions and give us time for our hearts to heal before we take our path again.
Do not stop doing the things you like, but do not tell yourself by pretending that none of this affects you at all. Recognize and accept what has happened until the pain that you have in there comes out at last and you can really move on.
We give great importance to the first kiss, the first love and the first couple. I agree that being the first person is important, but in the area of relationships it is the last person that matters.
