Media personality Ciru Muriuki has shared a deeply personal reflection on her journey with grief, describing how losing her father and fiancé reshaped her understanding of pain and resilience. Speaking through a heartfelt post on Instagram, Ciru opened up about how her life changed after experiencing the deaths of her father in 2020 and her partner, actor and director Charles Ouda, in 2023. She said these losses forced her to confront the true meaning of grief for the first time.
Ciru revealed that before 2020, she believed she understood grief because she had lost family members before. That changed when her father passed away after contracting COVID-19. “Before 2020, I had no idea what grief was. I thought I did because I’d lost family members… Then my dad died,” she said. Her bond with her father was strong. She described herself as a “classic daddy’s girl,” explaining that he was her greatest source of love and guidance. His sudden passing left her shattered and struggling to cope. “That was my first real encounter with grief,” she said. “Nothing prepares you for it.”
Just as she was finding her footing again, Ciru lost her fiancé, Charles Ouda, in 2023. The actor’s sudden death brought her back into mourning. “That grief, where? That was my first true experience with grief until last year when we lost Charlie,” she said. “Then I was back again in the thick of things.” The pain of losing two of the most important people in her life, in such a short time, tested her strength and faith.
Ciru reflected on how grief moves in unpredictable waves, not in stages as people often assume. “Before I went through grief, I thought these things were linear,” she said. “Grief taught me that you could feel all those feelings in the span of a minute.” She explained that emotions often overlap. “You can go from anger back to denial. One second you feel like you’re accepting it, the next, you’re depressed.”
She also shared that the second year after a major loss can feel even more painful than the first. “The first year of grief, you’re in survival mode,” she said. “Year two, people are thinking, surely she should be over it by now… you’re left alone.” By the second year, she explained, the shock wears off and the reality sets in. The calls and check-ins fade, and many people find themselves processing the loss in isolation.
Despite the heartbreak, Ciru said the experience has made her more patient, empathetic and self-aware. “I have learned so much about myself because of grief,” she shared. “I have so much more care for people because I have encountered such deep personal pain.” She credited grief for giving her a new outlook on life and for helping her value love and connection more deeply. “I would never wish grief on anyone,” she said, “but I can’t deny that it changes you. It makes you see life differently.” Ciru’s openness has resonated with many of her followers, who continue to draw strength from her honesty about the long, unpredictable process of healing.
