Sponsor; an old man who dates young women, foots their bills and gets sex in return. That’s the Kenyan definition of a sponsor. Well, of late sponsors and Team Mafisi (a term used to refer to a broke man who cannot afford to take a girl out, but all they do is thirst on her pictures) have been involved in a tug of war and it seems this is not going to end anytime soon.
Team Mafisi have been accusing Kenyan sponsors of taking away all the pretty women and leaving them with nothing to salivate on. On the other hand, sponsors have decided not to entertain these fisi’s and the war between them seems to have just started. Dear Team Mafisi, usishindane na ndovu, utapasuka msamba!
Anyway, if you are looking for a sponsor, make sure you possess the following characteristics. From the light-skinned beauties to well-endowed women, here are the types of women Kenyan sponsors like.
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The Light-skinned Mammiez
No sponsor would want to be seen with a dark-skinned lady. If you are yellow-yellow, thank God. Most Kenyan sponsors want a lady who glows in the dark and attracts as many Team Mafisi as she can. A lady who will leave every man, including the club bouncers, praising him.
2. Ladies who live alone
No sponsor wants you to know where he stays nor his family’s whereabouts. He will always visit you at your place and smash you from there and no day will he take you to his house.
3. Young Ripe Women
There is no day you will ever find a sponsor at Luo Night with a woman above 30 years. They prey on young women because of “fresh NUNUs”. No one wants to be seen with mama amekula maisha. You will trend for days at your local pub if you show up with an old granny. Campus girls are the easiest to ingiza box and that’s why these vitambi battalion men throng University hostels to get ‘fresh NUNUs’.
4. Service on demand
No sponsor will waste time with a nagging woman. They like those women who will do anything whenever and wherever he wants it. Mkiwa club ajiskie kusmash unaambiwa kamatia chini. If you refuse that’s the end of it. If he wants a threesome you will have to abide by the rules and get a friend so that you can ‘entertain’ him. Upus! You will never find me adoring a fellow human being.
5. Petite/Well-endowed women
There are two types of sponsors. Team petite and chubby chasers. Those who love petite figured women will go around bragging how his mpango wa kando is flexible and he can carry her without having to struggle. Yaani, ni kalaptop On the other hand, those who love thick women, will take photos of their big booty and brag in Whatsapp groups how ameangukia and the way the ‘sponsee’ bounces on his mtree.
6. Women who stay in Eastlands
If you are staying in a house above Sh10,000 woe unto you. You will pay the rent by yourself, my friend. He will visit you, do a little shopping that will leave you soaking wet, smash, and then leave. But if you are staying in Eastlands, hapo umeangukia. An average bedsitter in Eastlands goes for like Sh5,000 a month, so he knows if he gives you Sh20,000 you will not ask him for money the rest of the month. Also, when they go on a date with women from such places, he will not call an Uber for you, but instead give you Sh100 for fare. Why? Because he knows women from Eastlands are used to boarding matatus and she would rather wait for an Umoinner mat, preferably Dust and promote his makanga friend than take a cab home.
