New ‘hot’ teacher brings out the youth in randy colleague

A new sensation has joined the Meta Meta teaching staff and Aeneas’ heart, according to Schola our school chief gossiper, has gone ‘Yori Yori’.

The beautiful lady, who has made the once-famously stingy Aeneas splash money in the staffroom, is called Matilda. She was employed at the beginning of this term by the school’s Board of Management to teach Biology and Chemistry.

Schola, who sniffed the budding alliance long before any other member of staff had got a whiff of it, claims Matilda is Okonkwo’s relative, and she has been strategically employed in anticipation of Teachers Service Commission recruitment.

Whoever said you can’t teach old dogs new tricks hadn’t factored the effects of a beautiful woman on a seemingly randy man like Aeneas. The two have become an item.

Donatta, who managed Aeneas’ campaigns when he unsuccessfully vied to become a delegate at Mwalimu National Sacco, is scandalised and was overheard gossiping that Matilda is a ‘gold digger’ who is out to use Aeneas. Schola, who hails from the same village with Aeneas’ wife, has threatened to spill the beans.

She claims that he applied for a loan from Mwalimu National Sacco, which she helped fast track and that he is wasting the money on Matilda instead of saving for his retirement.

To say that Aeneas has undergone an extreme makeover is an understatement. He has overhauled his wardrobe and no longer buys ‘camera’ outfits from ‘Donatta and Sons Enterprises’. He is now donning tightly fitting shirts and trousers from Turkey.

Disciplinary panel

To project a youthful appearance, he has dyed his hair jet black and has also acquired a taste for ‘bling bling’ chains. The boys have nicknamed him ‘ma bling bling’. If he was teaching at Kaimosi Girls, where female teachers face interdiction for applying makeup, he would, by now, be facing a disciplinary panel at the TSC headquarters over the mode of his dressing.

Thanks to Aeneas’ desire to impress the dimpled Matilda, break time is now an event most of us look forward to. Aeneas is now behaving like the now famous son of Samoei whenever he visits those Kiosks in Eldoret, where he used to hustle before one Jirongo fished him out and showed him how to ‘eat life with a big spoon’.

Chapatis and ‘ngumus’ to escort Jezebel’s break time tea are plenty. Last week, he celebrated his birthday in style. He ordered for a giant cake from Nairobi.

The cake, which was delivered by a motor cyclist, was brought to the staffroom just as we were going in for break time tea. He asked Maltida to serve the cake and each member of staff got a slice.

However, Vasco Da Gama, the talkative History teacher who has a keen memory for dates, swears that Aeneas’ birthday falls in late august.

Apparently the pair has been exchanging flirtatious texts and one from Aeneas caused a scandal when it landed on our mean deputy head, Wangu Wa Makeri’s Tablet. Aeneas had saved her phone number under Makeri and probably blinded by his feelings for Matilda pressed the first Ma… by mistake.