Not always police officers will be beside you when you most need their help, sometimes when you are caught between a hard rock and a mountain of thugs, you have to help yourself before you can call the police to help you.
Imagine your vehicular breaking down in a dense fogged and lonely mountainous road, then a click of ragtag group emerges out of the fog and they are only ones who seem to visualize better in the mist, you need the following tools lad.
- Nyahunyo nyeusi
Nothing motivates a stubborn boda boda rider to get off the road than a whiplash on his back. Many prefer nyahunyos because they can be easily concealed under the seat or in the glove compartment.
- Empty chupas, mawe
Many women carry empty soda bottles in their cars (and handbags) for easy breaking on an offender’s head, especially those obstinate makangas of Githurai 45, Mwiki and Embakasi routes in Nairobi. Well-rounded stone missiles are the weapons of choice to smash the windshields of guilty motorists who speed away from an accident scene.
- Somali swords
This is favoured by truck drivers, who prefer it because it is impossible to drive from Mombasa to Lubumbashi without encountering some form of road rage. This is a sure deterrent.
- Bolted rungus
The round-head rungus with a bolt at the top can cause massive damage by cracking some kichwa ngumu! Surprisingly, these dangerous weapons are hawked like boiled eggs with no law barring their acquisition.
- Golf clubs
Some social high climbers resort to expensive golf rungus, especially when delayed by some nincompoop on their way to a game.
- Bakora swords
These are mostly used by angry drivers who have been hit by boda bodas who can’t pay for a brand new BMW’s side mirror, and thus use the bakora sword to slash the motorcycle’s tyres!
- Mguu ya kuku
There is a breed of people who will whip out their mguu ya kuku (gun) if you as much as get an inch closer to their aged Toyota Platz. They seem to get a kick out of pointing guns at people’s heads and then watch the freaked out drivers swerve off the road.
- Pepper spray
This is mainly carried by women who use it to immobilise any potential threat by aiming at an assailant’s eyes, leaving him writhing in agony.
- ‘Tool box armoury
The hammer, wheel spanner, long screw driver and even a wrench that would ideally snuggle in a tool box, are ideal for hand-to-hand combat along Jogoo Road where obohos might mill around a scene of accident planning to yank off the stereo.
- Swiss knives:
These multi-purpose army knives which are used for outdoor camping are great for self-defence and can be hidden in the cusp of the hand for surprise attacks.
Story by Courtesy
