Are you planning to settle down and get married?
It is good and very much advised to seek other peoples suggestions, however, they should never decide what is going down on your marriage or wedding road.
Worse of all, here are four kinds of people who should never decide for your marriage to take place
1) Your Spiritual Fathers
A Young Man came to me for counseling, he was in a relationship with a lady for over a year, they were happy and good, finally he wanted to go see her parents, he went to see her spiritual father (her Pastor) first.
√ Her pastor told him the wedding will not hold, why was he just coming to see him, that he has been dating his daughter in the Lord since without his knowledge, that he will punish him for doing that.
√ The Young Man pleaded to no avail,
The young lady supported her spiritual father, because he’s her pastor, and the young man had to back down and leave her alone.
√ Pastors are GUIDES, they aren’t GOD.
They COUNSEL, it is God that CANCELS
Some ladies will turn down a good brothers proposal simply because their spiritual father said she should and has someone else in mind for them,.
√ Yes, listen to them, I’m a Counselor/Pastor too, our input matters a lot, don’t joke with it, but talk to God for yourself, discuss and agree with your partner, and allow God lead you to decide WHO you MARRY and HOW you run your MARRIAGE.
2) You Parents
A lady was telling me how her fiance’s father kept postponing their wedding, she and her fiance would chose a date and his father will change it for no reason and her fiancé would comply without resisting or standing his ground (symptom of a weak Man).
√ Since 2018, till that date (2020), for TWO whole years, her fiance’s father kept shifting date for one reason or the other.
√ Your Parents can only SUGGEST, they can’t FINALIZE for you about your wedding and marriage. Let them know you for this. Don’t be a weak person. Many marriages are being frustrated because of parents input and unnecessary interference.
Some Young Men are not helping matters, they can’t stand up to their parents.
√ Any thing Mummy says “YES Ma”
√ Any thing Daddy says “YES Sir”
Even when they already agreed something different with their Wives at home.
√ Are you a Boy or a Man?
Your parents don’t run your Home, you and your Husband/Wife do.
3) Your Friends
How your friend runs his/her marriage isn’t how you will run yours.
√ Your partner is unique, with unique financial, spiritual, and emotional capacity, you can’t make demands based on another person’s husband’s/wife’s capacity, calling, convictions and schedules,
√ I’m not saying don’t make demands, but make demands based on your partners capacity, their schedule, their calling, their convictions and boundaries.
4) Social Media
The big one.
Many couples come to social media and live fake lives, creating false standards for other naive and gullible couples to start living up to.
√ IMPROVE, Yes, UPGRADE, Yes, LEARN, Yes, but your marriage is up to you and your partner to decide what to do in it based on your personal choices and capacities, not on what you saw one couple do on Twitter, you will run into emotional, physical and financial problems if you keep trying to copy every trend you see on social media..
√ “Therefore shall a MAN leave Father and Mother and cleave to his WIFE.” It’s your Marriage, (Your spouse, You, and God) plan and decide together, the 3 of you.
Every other input is a suggestion.
