It is a feeling that some men have noticed. We go months, even years, without eating a butt. However, suddenly we establish a serious relationship and magically it seems as if we are more attractive to the other sex.
The looks change, also the conversations. Is it because we feel safer? Does having a stable partner make something change within us or is it a matter that exclusively concerns their curiosity?
Probably a little of both happens. Being in a couple gives a certain category to the man. The other person will have some reason for choosing us, right?
Perhaps because of our education, perhaps because we have a stable job that guarantees economic well-being, perhaps because it shows that we are attentive people … All of them are signs that encourage the interest of women.
A man with a partner shows that he takes things seriously, something highly sought after by the female gender
Thus, a wide range of female fantasies can be afloat, projected directly on men who, without being their lovers, are very present in their lives.
Typical examples are the couple of a best friend, or a coworker with whom many hours of effort (and therefore friction) are shared, despite having a stable relationship for years.
Long ago, a typical gesture of the masculine gender was to take off the engagement ring in the event that a sure occasion for flirtation presented itself.
One would have to consider whether such action is still appropriate. Perhaps now boasting that watch that your girlfriend or your wife has given you or that gift of your anniversary in the form of a wallet, is not a wrong option to enjoy a few minutes of courtship with an interesting and captivating woman.
Is all this just an impression? Is there evidence that women have a greater interest in committed men?
Commitment
According to Dr. Scott Stanley, co-director of the Conjugal Center of the University of Denver and author of the book ‘Fighting for your marriage’, there is clear evidence that confirms this.
Maintaining a stable relationship denotes that person takes things seriously: “When a single woman is used to dealing with boys who spend the day playing video games in their parents’ basement, a committed man seems attractive because he actually demonstrates he’s getting something, says Stanley.
If we think that many of the complaints of the female gender refer to the difficulty they feel in finding a man who wants to settle down and build something serious, it is automatically understood that many look at those who have already achieved it, albeit with someone else.
A man with a partner “demonstrates commitment,” says Terri Orbuch, author of ‘Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship.’ Although, of course, all this is a contradiction in itself, because if a man cheats on his wife with another, who guarantees that he can be completely faithful to the second?
Responsible
The funny thing is that the opposite can also happen. Fantasizing about men with a partner can imply the will, on the part of the woman, not to want to create a relationship that is destined to evolve.
This usually occurs in women who are very hurt and want to remove from their lives the possibility of another traumatic rupture.
Competitions
One more reason for a woman’s desire for a committed man is the sense of competition that is generated with the formal partner
In some cases, loving a committed man allows them to protect themselves and reserve parts of themselves, limiting encounters to an exclusively physical and sexual environment.
Many women who have relationships with committed men admit to knowing little or nothing about them. “A single woman may be attracted to a committed man because she is not yet ready for a lasting relationship,” says Orbuch.
Or as Scott Stanley says: “This is a relationship that is guaranteed not to work or is, in any case, less likely to do so.”
Do not think, however, that everything is caused by a feminine sensitivity that is somewhat outdated for the times. There is also, in the possibility of sleeping with a committed man, a sense of transgression that makes everything become fascinating and fun.
Trophy man
The last reason that a woman’s desire towards a man that seems out of the sentimental market can awaken is the sense of competition that is generated with the stable partner.
The lover can feel a fundamental element in her life, an essential subject in which the man goes to look for what is absent in the conjugal relationship. This gives him undeniable power, because through his position he can destroy not only a relationship, but an entire family.
All in all, there is the possibility that women feel lost in the role they have to play in a relationship with three, among other things because it is not easy for them to elucidate if the man feels truly in love with them, which generates a instability that is sometimes impossible to bear and that ends in rupture. As we saw in a previously published article, there are not a few women who hope that the committed man leaves his partner and the relationship ends up being clandestine.
