No one knows why we choose to think negative. Negative thinking leads to negative actions by precisely thinking negative. We create a self-fulfilling prediction.
That is, we think negatively , we predict a negative result, we act negatively and then we receive a negative result that fulfills our prediction. Of course none of this is what we want or need.
There are 4 ways to silence the Ego:
1. Focus on the gray area between the ends
Life is not white or black. There are gray in between.
Black result (extremely unlikely): “Relationships are a total disaster that always ends with 2 broken hearts”.
White result (extremely unlikely): “Relationships are total happiness with zero problems until the end of time”.
Realistic / gray result (very likely): “There will be great times, good times and not so good, but we will remain united and we will not jump to conclusions.”
Giving your mind more options to consider will help you reduce extreme emotions and allow you to think clearer and more realistic ideas.
2. Stop looking for negative signals in others
Thinking negatively leads you to interpret everything that one person does in a negative way, especially when you are not sure of what the other person is thinking.
For example, “You have not called, so you do not want to talk to me,” or “I just said it was nice, but it does not really mean that.”
We often make hasty conclusions that cause us pain and totally unnecessary worry. If someone says something, bad. If he does not say it, bad too.
We give meaning to a situation before we have all the information, which makes us feel unprepared before it. We end up thinking badly.
When you think more clearly, you will be able to do all the possible reasons, you can imagine, and not just the negative ones. For example: “You have not called”
“I will be very busy at work”
“No battery left”
“He’s waiting for me to call him,” etc.
None of these 3 circumstances are negative and all are possible like any other option.
The next time you find yourself worrying about a problem that does not exist, breathe deeply and say to yourself: “This problem that concerns me only exists in my mind.”
Being able to distinguish between what you imagine and what is really happening is a great step to overcome the Ego.
3. Evaluate and eliminate unreasonable rules and expectations
You must deal with the world as it is and not as you expect it to be. Life has no obligation to give you what you expect. Stop forcing misinterpreted conclusions and expectations about life.
“I eat late.” So he does not care. “(Or he just got stuck in a traffic jam).
“If I cannot do it well, it’s just that I’m not made for this.” (Or maybe you need more practice).
“I have not received any news from my doctor yet, Surely something is wrong.” (Or maybe the lab has been delayed and the results are not available).
Inventing rules like these is a great way to keep your mind stuck in the hole. You have to see and accept things as they are and not as you want them to be. That it did not come out as you expected it does not mean that it is not what you really needed to reach your goal.
4. Embrace rejection
As soon as someone criticizes you, you feel rejected and even think: “Once again I have shown that I am not worthy”. What you have to realize is that these people are the ones that are not worthy of you.
Rejection is a necessary medicine: it teaches you to reject opportunities that will not work, and so you can find others that will. Rejection does not mean that you are not good enough, but that the other person did not realize what you have to offer. Will you feel hurt? Of course. Will it hurt? Sure, you’re human. And the questions will come to you many questions that you will not know how to answer.
And this is when you have to let your emotions feed you. This is the important part. Let your feelings of rejection dominate you, feed you and feel them. Inspire your demons for the powerful opening to the next chapter of your journey. In other words, overcome the rejection.
Someday the negative voice inside you will have nothing to say.