Instead of punishments, educational consequences. That is the advice of the specialists when your child misbehaves. The difference between one and the other is the effort that the child takes to do it. If your child breaks a vase in the living room on purpose, there is no point in leaving him without buying stickers. That would be a punishment. A negative consequence would mean that the child would have to replace the repaired damage, allocating part of his pay to buy another or modeling it with clay.
He also uses these alternatives to traditional punishment:
1. The illusion of the double alternative.
If he does not want to study, do not insist, just ask him which subject he will review first. Thus we create in the child the illusion that it is he who freely chooses what to do, so that he will feel more valued.
2. The offside technique.
Useful with small troublemakers, aggressive and disobedient and is based on the withdrawal of the situation to eliminate. If he jumps on the couch, we immediately get him down and sit him in a chair for a while. You can use cards like soccer referees to make it easier for the child to know when they are sent off. The isolation time must be one minute per year.
It assumes that the child restores the damage he has caused or that he repeats what he did in an alternative and positive way.
4. The system of stickers and dots.
Reward the child’s positive behaviors with a sticker of a certain shape or color and sanction the negative ones with a different one. For it to work, it is vital to be clear about how many points you must accumulate to obtain a non-material prize: a family outing, a snack with friends …
5. The pact.
It is useful if you are older than 10 years. Write a contract to change some behavior of the child and the parents-it may bother him that you enter his room from her without knocking on the door. The contract must establish the Privileges that will be obtained if the attitude is changed and the sanction if it is not respected.
6. The deterrent consequence.
Associate unwanted behavior with an unpleasant consequence. For example, if you haven’t finished your homework, you will have to get up early to finish it; If he has not wanted milk for breakfast, you offer it to him at snack time. That way the displeasure it caused you will not make you relapse.