Gospel singer Mercy Masika has defended her upcoming “Becoming a Wife” masterclass amid growing online criticism, sharing a supportive message from one of her followers who believes women should have the freedom to learn about marriage. The controversy surrounding the programme has sparked a wider conversation about marriage, submission, gender roles and the expectations placed on women in relationships. Through a reposted message from her follower, Jasmine Kariuki, Masika highlighted the perspective of women who believe that learning how to become a better wife is a personal choice rather than a subject that should attract criticism. Jasmine questioned why some people were uncomfortable with women seeking guidance on how to build and maintain marriages. Her message also suggested that although the masterclass may not appeal to everyone, it could offer useful lessons to women who want that kind of guidance.
The “Becoming a Wife” masterclass attracted attention after Masika announced the programme under the theme, “Becoming a wife for every woman who believes that marriage should not be miserable.” The initiative appears to focus on helping women understand marriage and prepare for the responsibilities associated with being a wife. However, the announcement generated mixed reactions, with some people questioning whether such programmes place too much responsibility on women to make marriages work. Others have defended the idea of offering women guidance on relationships, arguing that marriage requires preparation, communication and a willingness to learn. The disagreement has turned the masterclass into part of a broader discussion about how modern relationships should be understood in a changing society.
Jasmine Kariuki’s message offered a clear defence of women who want to learn about marriage from a faith-based perspective. She questioned why it should bother anyone when women choose to become better wives and learn how to fulfil the roles they believe are important in their relationships. In her message, she encouraged people to allow women who want to become wives to pursue that goal without facing unnecessary judgment. She also referred to the values of honouring, loving and submitting to one’s husband, principles that feature in some Christian teachings about marriage. By reposting the message, Masika brought attention to the view that women should be able to seek guidance consistent with their personal beliefs without being criticised simply for making that choice.
One of the strongest points in Jasmine’s argument was that the masterclass does not have to appeal to every woman to be useful. She acknowledged that different people have different views about marriage and that not everyone will find the same advice relevant to their circumstances. Some women may be interested in learning about traditional Christian marriage roles, while others may prefer relationship approaches that place greater emphasis on equal roles and shared responsibilities. These differences do not necessarily mean that one group must prevent another from accessing the guidance it wants. Her message suggested that women should have the freedom to decide what kind of relationship advice suits their values and personal goals.
The discussion about submission has been central to the reactions surrounding the “Becoming a Wife” masterclass. In some Christian traditions, submission is understood as part of a wife’s commitment to her husband and the marriage, often alongside teachings about a husband’s responsibility to love, respect and care for his wife. However, interpretations differ among churches, families and individuals. Critics of traditional marriage teachings sometimes worry that an emphasis on submission can encourage women to tolerate unequal treatment or remain in harmful relationships. Supporters may argue that the concept should be understood within a broader commitment to mutual respect, love and responsibility rather than as a demand for unquestioning obedience.
These differing interpretations help explain why a programme focused on becoming a wife can generate strong public reactions. Marriage is both a personal commitment and a subject shaped by cultural expectations, religious beliefs and changing attitudes towards gender equality. Some people believe women benefit from learning practical skills that can help them manage conflict, communicate effectively and build strong partnerships. Others argue that marriage education should place equal emphasis on men’s responsibilities instead of focusing primarily on what women must do to keep a relationship healthy. The disagreement therefore raises important questions about the kind of guidance couples need and whether marriage programmes should address the expectations placed on both partners.
Masika’s decision to share a supportive message also illustrates how public figures can respond to criticism without directly engaging with every negative comment. By highlighting Jasmine’s perspective, the singer drew attention to people who believe the masterclass serves a legitimate purpose. Social media has made it easier for public figures to announce projects, receive immediate reactions and take part in debates about personal values. This can create opportunities for constructive discussion, but it can also lead to disagreements becoming more intense as users respond to different interpretations of a message. In this case, the debate has extended beyond the event itself to include wider questions about women’s choices, religious teachings and the meaning of a successful marriage.
The controversy has also renewed discussion about whether women are expected to carry most of the responsibility for preserving relationships. Former Citizen TV news anchor Janet Mbugua previously criticised the idea of a women-only marriage masterclass, raising concerns about femicide, gender-based violence, the church’s response to injustice and the pressure on women to save marriages. Her argument was that a woman cannot be expected to sustain a marriage on her own and that broader social concerns should not be ignored when discussing women’s roles. This perspective differs from the defence offered in Jasmine’s message, which focuses on the right of women who want marriage guidance to receive it. The two positions reflect a wider debate about how to support women who value marriage while also addressing safety, equality and shared responsibility within relationships.
Both perspectives raise questions worth considering. Women who choose to marry may benefit from guidance that helps them understand communication, commitment, emotional maturity and the practical responsibilities of family life. At the same time, marriage education should recognise that a healthy relationship depends on the conduct and commitment of both partners. Women should not be made to feel that every disagreement is their fault or that preserving a marriage must take priority over their safety and wellbeing. Guidance that encourages mutual respect, accountability and honest communication can help couples approach challenges in a more constructive way. These principles can also allow people with different religious and cultural views to discuss marriage without dismissing one another’s experiences.
The debate surrounding Mercy Masika’s “Becoming a Wife” masterclass reflects changing attitudes towards marriage in Kenya and the influence of social media on discussions about relationships. Some people welcome programmes that draw on Christian teachings and provide guidance to women preparing for marriage. Others want such initiatives to address gender equality, abusive relationships and the need for men to take equal responsibility for healthy partnerships. Jasmine Kariuki’s message emphasises that women should be free to pursue the kind of marriage guidance they find meaningful, even when others disagree with its principles. Ultimately, the value of any marriage masterclass depends on the quality of its guidance and whether it helps participants build relationships based on respect, care and responsibility. The ongoing conversation offers an opportunity to recognise that women can value marriage while still expecting fairness, safety and mutual commitment from their partners.
