So you and your boyfriend have been together for a while. Everything is going smoothly: you laugh, you spend hours together, you upload photos to Instagram doing the shit… But he can’t stand you talking to other boys or going out with your friends to party.
I know you love him, but you don’t need anyone to clip your wings and not let you be happy. He has the problem, and if he wants to be happy with you, he will have to learn to overcome his jealousy.
These 18 ways will help you help him:
1. Where does your jealousy come from?
You can’t fix a problem without knowing what it is. Why is he jealous? Did you have a bad childhood and need to feel accepted? Have you suffered abandonment and are you afraid of going through the same thing? Are you insecure or feel inferior to other kids?
Ask him where so much fear is born. What do you think when jealousy comes to you and what do you imagine. Knowing the origin of your jealousy you will be able to find the solution to overcome it.
2. Are you willing to put in the effort?
Ask yourself seriously: do I love this person? . If the answer is yes, you are going to have to learn to accept the situation and make an effort to help him change it.
Accepting it does not mean arguing or blaming it. Accepting it means knowing that it will not always be easy and that it will cost, but you trust that you can overcome it.
3. Listen to him
You won’t understand his jealousy until you hear him talk about it. You will be surprised how he feels when he is carried away by those emotions and behaves in such an unpleasant way.
4. Talk to him
The least he needs right now is you yelling or judging him. He is ultimately jealous for fear that you will leave him. Talk to him to understand him and help him understand himself. Be their ally, not their enemy.
5. Be open with him
Do not hide your emotions from him for fear that he will feel bad. Be honest with him about how you feel without being hurtful. He needs to see how his problem affects you, tell him how his jealousy makes you feel.
6. Put rules in the relationship
Establishing rules in your relationship is a great way to let the other know which buttons not to touch. If your partner really cares about you and follows the rules – which you have agreed on previously – you will save yourself a lot of trouble and arguments.
7. Help him build his confidence
Make him feel good. Tell him how handsome he is today or how you like him to be so hard-working and responsible. This will help you feel more secure in your newfound confidence.
The more confident you feel, the less likely you will see situations as threatening and the less jealous you will feel. Less jealousy, more union and closeness to you.
8. Meet your friends
If your boyfriend is worried that you are meeting one of your friends, introduce him to the gang. When he meets them and sees how you interact with them, he will see that he has nothing to worry about.
9. Stay in touch
I’m not telling you not to stay glued to your phone. But if you have gone there, a little message every hour and a half is not enough, I assure you!
10. Enough of games
Have you ever made your boyfriend jealous by wanting you? Well, let it be the last time.
11. Remind her that you are not her
You are not the ex that cheated on him in the past. You’re not the one who flirted with other guys behind his back, or the one who dumped him without giving any explanation.
You are different, and you are in a totally different relationship. This time you can grow together, and you know that you want to make yourself happy. That’s why his jealousy is superfluous in all that.
12. Pay attention to him (not everything, but enough)
Your boyfriend may feel insecure because you aren’t paying enough attention to him. It happens to me sometimes, I’m with so many people that I don’t have time to be able to chat with everyone.
If you are in a bar where there are a lot of people make sure you do not leave your boyfriend aside and talk at least a little with him. Nobody likes to be ignored.
13. Details are not too great
Men also like to feel loved. Take his hand, kiss him, hug him. Show the world how much you love him. This will give her the message that you are proud to be with her.
14. Give him an ultimatum
If the jealous guy gets out of control, you don’t want to keep dealing with him. This means that you can tell him that you will leave if the jealous one does not stop. He will step back and try to control himself and overcome it, or he will end up losing you. Let the message be clear to you.
15. Use reverse psychology
Sometimes we need to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes to really know how they feel. Do it with him. She acts like a jealous woman for no reason; distrust what he tells you, question him, blame him for talking to that friend.
How does that make you feel? You explain that this is how you feel when he gets jealous. I assure you that he will stop seeing it the same way after all.
16. Couples therapy
Psychological support should never be ruled out. Both on a couple and personal level. He may be the one who goes to solve the personal problems that make him jealous, or both go to couples therapy. The psychologist always helps.
17. Think of yourself: is it worth it?
You love him and you don’t want to lose him, I know. Worse I also know that you know that you will not put up with a couple like that. That you deserve to be happy and someone who wants to be with you.
A relationship is supposed to be built on trust. If your boyfriend is jealous for no reason and has been like this for years and does not WANT to change, perhaps it is best to rethink if your
18. And the most important
Show him that you love him, but don’t forget that you will always go first.