Few betrayals are viewed worse than adultery.
However, despite its pronounced negative bias, infidelity is tremendously common in our society
A widespread topic about adultery is that it is a man thing, an opinion that is clearly false. It is true that for a long time male infidelity has been viewed with better eyes and that it was more widespread than female, but the difference has been mitigating in recent times.
It is evident, therefore, that despite certain social stigmas, infidelity is not only not a behavior condemned to disappearance, but in the case of women it is booming. It is interesting the question of why a woman becomes unfaithful, in order to be able to delve into some keys of the behavior of the female sex regarding her relationships and feelings.
Just sex … or something else?
One of the most widespread theories starts from an evolutionary explanation, defended by theorist Gary Brase. This current understands that the woman is a being who seeks a long-term company to support the family, while the man aims at procreation.
This idea may perhaps explain the behavior of Isabelle, who tells on Yahoo Health how the relationship with her partner was reconsidered when she met a man with whom she shared the same passion on Facebook: the photograph. “I was scared because my husband and I did not have many things in common,” says Isabelle. At the end of the day, we all want to have a long-term project with a person with whom we share certain characteristics or values, and this is what made Isabelle change of scene: “I wondered if my husband was the person I wanted to grow old. “
Sexual, romantic love and attachment
This is far from the only reason. Other authors, such as the prestigious researcher Helen Fisher, defend that in love there are three phases: sexual, romantic love and attachment.
It is there where the key to adultery would reside, since we can meet at one stage with our partner and at a different stage with our lover.
This would explain how some women have enormous affection for their partner and do not want to end their relationship, but find certain shortcomings that need to be satisfied in some way: “I felt that my partner was not paying enough attention to me,” says Claire, who in this situation ended up sleeping with a partnerof work that showed interest in her. Seeing her need satiated, she never went further because she reflected and realized that, in hers case, love is a long process beyond a physical encounter, something that helped her refloat their relationship.
Lack of love or spite
But a similar beginning can have very different ends. Sometimes, what could have started as just an adventure with the sole purpose of making sex life brighter, ends up being the key to realizing that love is over and there is no going back.
An infidelity can end up breaking a couple because someone with whom there is a close mind-body bond appears. Something like this happened to Lauren, who upon meeting an old childhood friend again opened her eyes: “I would never be in love with my partner again.”
Revenge
If we see that love, or the absence of it, is a powerful weapon of change, we should not underestimate negative feelings such as hatred, anger, either. A widespread reason is revenge. It can even be the consequence of a previous infidelity.
This is the case of Natalie, who when she found out that her boyfriend had kissed another woman, she decided that she would do the same just to get the pleasure of seeing how he was angry and jealous.
Another different reason is Kate’s, who in her first relationship suffered a betrayal from her partner that caused a great trauma from which she has not yet recovered.
Since then, she decided to be the one who would screw up with her new boyfriends first, and she has all deceived them sooner or later. “I am afraid of being hurt again, I know it is not good and I have started therapy to avoid it.”
What is clear from these testimonies is that reality always surpasses fiction. There are infinite reasons why a person decide to live an adventure parallel to their official relationship
