Do you know well the person with whom you intend to share the rest of your life? It is important to know their way of seeing life, its principles and agree with them.
Getting married is a very important step and to get it right you need to share some key aspects. It is not that you agree on everything, but on the essentials.
And if that is not the case, it is good to know and assess whether you will be willing to cope with these issues.
Although you do not believe it, it is not always about things as important as having children (as well) but of others such as your hobbies or the little habits of each one.
Every couple is a world! What may seem unimportant to you may be crucial for other people. Point!
- An inescapable question is:
How did your parents get along? Did they resolve differences calmly or argue aggressively? This is a very important issue, since much of the success of a couple depends on the way in which they settle conflicts and family formation is fundamental in this aspect, since these behaviors are learned. Change is also possible, but it is good to know the starting point.
- The decision to have children or not and the number
If there is no coincidence at this point, problems will inevitably arise later on. We will have children? How many? Will you change diapers?
Are examples of questions that can be asked before getting married and that must be answered with absolute sincerity and clarity, because, if not, can lead to deep disappointments in the future.
The moment in which these children must arrive is also important: many couples do not define it clearly and have problems at this point.
- Family Planning
Talking about contraceptive methods to plan the family is very important.
- Divorce
According to research by Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, having many serious relationships can present a risk of divorce and diminish the quality of marriage.
Knowing this situation at the beginning of the relationship can help, says the professor. The only way to avoid these problems is a sincere and clear talk on this point.
- Religion is a very important
If those who will have marry have different religions, it is a potential risk of conflict, since it implies that, at some time and in certain occasions, one of the couple’s members must yield to their convictions. These problems will obviously be strengthened, when the children arrive, from their very birth and later with religious education.
- Talking about money is always very difficult and more before getting married
It is important to be clear about the panorama of both and be honest about debts and commitments is fundamental. In addition to this, another problem may arise when between both there is a large gap between their income: in these cases it is necessary to organize the budget of the couple and clarify how the expenses will be distributed.
- Before getting married it is necessary to know the perception that both have of money and the value of things and this can be known with simple questions.
How much is the most would you pay for a car or a television? Are you willing to go into debt for it? How much do you spend on clothes and shoes?
Although emphasis is often placed on large expenditures, it is worthwhile to inquire about daily expenses, which may define the success or financial failure of the couple.
- A not lesser fact is the perception they have of each other
Something important is to define independent activities: Can you bear to do things without you? When getting married, many people want to keep their independence in certain areas of their lives and that can cause problems if they do not talk about it. The word “privacy” should also be discussed, especially in times of intensive cell phone use and social networks. Dr. Wilcox suggested asking your partner about the time when I most needed to be alone.
- The relationship with parents can be a contentious issue.
Do you like my mom? This can be a question that cannot be serious. It is good to also ask about the relationship between your future partner and their mother or father: when they are too close relations, in which the parents are reluctant to let their child grow, problems can be the order of the day.
- Sex is one of the most wonderful things that exist among human beings, but it is also the cause of serious conflicts.
How important is sex to you? It may be a good question, although perhaps words can change. A healthy relationship will include conversations about what everyone enjoys sex, as well as the expected frequency of relationships.
- The relationship with other people can bring problems.
How can we go when interacting with other people? What is considered flirting? Is it okay to watch pornography? Does it bother you if I have conversations with other people do not know? The relationship of both in front of pornography, flirting and sexual exclusivity are topics that must necessarily be discussed before marriage, as well as clarifying those issues that may induce jealousy.
