Being unfaithful occasionally is not the same as having a lover. The first thing is a little hair in the air, a love affair (rather sexual), which occurs with a certain person at a certain time.
The second is a secret relationship, in which feelings also play in addition to sex. Differentiating between the two cases is crucial, especially when concealing these encounters from the couple in question.
Be careful, we do not say that it is okay or we do not advocate it (and we do not think otherwise) but whether you are one of those who cheats or not, it is important that you read what we have to tell you.
Once the occasional flirting with an extramarital relationship has been differentiated, let’s move on to the point at hand: how to have a lover without the couple realizing it.
If you have one, you are considering the idea or you suspect that your crush is hitting you, very attentive to super-effective tricks so that you do not get caught.
1) Be honest with the lover
If you have to hide things from someone it is your partner. It is best for your lover to know that you have a normal romantic relationship (by normal we mean formal, conventional) with another person.
Otherwise, it could complicate everything even more. Why? Your affair could fall in love with you and try to start a relationship, make plans, call you when you are with your boyfriend or girlfriend
Ideally, you should know what the rules of the game are, and if you want to accept them, stay; and if not, goodbye. “I have a wife, two children, but I like you. I want to continue seeing you, you give me a lot and I have a great time with you. Sex is great. But you have to know that I am not leaving my family. And it is something you must respect if you want us to get on with this. “It would be more or less like this.
The other person is free to accept the conditions or not. Everything will be much easier that way, whether or not he decides to stay with you.
He will know that you have a life with someone and that you do not want to lose it, but neither does your lover. It is complicated, but it is something that happens
If you both agree on the conditions, and you know your place in each other’s lives, your partner will never have to find out.
2) Find a lover with a partner
The perfect thing is that your lover has a formal partner, like you. That way you both will have something valuable to lose if the affair comes to light.
The relationship is clearer when you both play under the same rules. Also, this way you will understand each other. If you’ve never had a lover, you may not know it, but it’s hard enough to have two relationships at once, to love two people. One gives you one thing, and the other gives you others. Both are compatible, but you know you can’t choose just one. So you keep both at the same time
3) That they belong to different worlds
Your lover and your partner should not know each other. It would make everything a lot murkier. In the end, your lover will become your friend, your confessor, your support, so it is inevitable that you end up telling him about your husband or wife, but it is recommended that you do not give too much information.
Not because the other is going to go crazy and tell you about it, but the more you are only two, the better for your relationship and the one you have with other people.
If they do not know each other, you will also avoid uncomfortable situations. It is worth that there are individuals like Donald Trump who see a lot of morbidity in fucking the women of their friends, but it is too cloudy to be kept secret and in time. That won’t end well in any way possible.
4) Beware of pets
If you don’t want to be caught, be very careful if the encounters take place at your lover’s house.
Why? It is more than likely that your hair is in your home (no matter how much you clean) and that the pillows, the sofa or the aroma of the apartment in general smell of him or her.
Therefore, always check yourself before leaving. And if the aforementioned has pets, such as cats or dogs, you have to be even more alert.
A friend recently told us that his now ex-wife caught him because one day he came home with the black shirt covered in cat hair. And of course, the excuse of “darling is that the one at the bar has adopted a kitty” did not sound very credible.
Most likely, your affair has a utensil to remove pet hair. Pass it on before you leave if you don’t change your clothes. Or get one and run it over your clothes when you get home. It also serves a damp cloth. And do not make the mistake of beginning to think that putting it in the washing machine will leave the hairs, because it is not like that: they will get impregnated in the clothes even if you wash it.
5) Shower well, but not with other soaps
If you are going to shower at your lover’s house, be careful with the products you use. Especially if you’re a man and you’re cheating on a woman. They, with the smells of cosmetics, are more insightful than they are.
If you use a gel that is not the house gel, or a different shampoo, it will smell and you will have to give more than one explanation. However, a good excuse is to say that it is the gym.
6) The stays, only midweek
The best thing is that during the weekends you do not stay with your lover, because you will have to give too many explanations and you run the risk of being caught.
Whether you live with your partner or not, on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays it is better to spend them with your partner or dedicate it to friends.
These days, people are out of their comfort zone, and you may find your wife’s best friend in “your secret bar”, who has met some acquaintances who live in the area.
Every day, everyone tends to have the same routine, so if your partner has a spin every Tuesday, for example, the Tuesday you have a date with your lover, they will also have a spin. It is always about reducing risks.
Be very careful if the encounters take place at your lover’s house. It is more than likely that in your home there is hair from you or your pets
7) Not being regular in the matches
Stay during the week, yes, but not always the same days. If you see your lover every Thursday, for example, they would end up catching you for sure.
We know a real case. She had a “girls outing” every Tuesday, and most of those nights she stayed over at a partner’s house.
In the end he began to hesitate and one day followed her. Surprise: she was with her lover. Her thing is that you don’t have routines.
8) This is not a trick
We are no one to tell you what is right or what is wrong. Everyone is free to do what they want with their bodies and with their lives, with whoever they want, as long as they do not harm third parties.
If you feel that you are not hurting anyone, not even yourself, go ahead. If there is a hint of doubt about personal or other people’s suffering, we recommend that you think things through before doing them, because you can lose everything in a second.
