Acknowledge it! Surely on more than one occasion you have said something that you regretted later. And I’m sure that on more than one occasion you’ve also thought about what you said after saying it. The problem is not what you have said but what the other person has heard.
Here I leave 6 phrases that you should never say to anyone:
1. I do not care
What others understand: leave me alone. I have better things to do than listen to you.
Tell him you’re interested in what he has said to you but now is not a good time to do it. When you have a free time you invite him to tell you what he wanted to tell you, but it is important that you clarify that person why he wanted to tell you.
2. You’re wrong
What others understand: you do not know how to do it. You are stupid. You are useless.
There is one thing that I learned in my career and that now I will share with you: it’s the I-you conversations. Normally, we usually talk to you; “You do not understand, you’re wrong, do it better …” and a long etcetera. But how would those phrases sound if we talked to myself?
“I think you could do better, according to my way of seeing it, my opinion is different, I would recommend it.” What a difference, right? Next time try to change the conversation. You for the me, you will see what changes.
3. I told you
What others understand: have you seen how you have done wrong? You’ve asked for it I’m better than you.
Reflect and think the meaning, that is, the why of your sentence. Are you going to bring something positive to that person? On the contrary, you need your help more than ever. As the saying goes, do not make firewood from the fallen tree, and work for that tree to hold on to the earth again and flourish. No matter what and how it happened, the only important thing is that you can give your help, and there is someone who needs it. Are you willing to give it to him?
4. That should be easy
What others understand: that’s easy, and if you cannot do it, you’re useless.
The level of difficulty is perceived differently by each person. There are people who have great ability for some things and other people who have ability for others. And if you are telling someone that they are doing is easy, you are discriminating their ability to do it.
One does not know how long the Chinese wall is, because something similar happens here. Opinion from the outside can be easy, but things do not feel the same when you are the one inside. And if not, think if you would like someone to think about what you are doing, saying that it seems easy. It’s not nice, right? Think about it next time before telling anyone.
5. You cannot do it
What others understand: no matter what you try, you will not get it, why why?
Why do you lead someone to failure? I can understand that you do not want your friend to sink and you feel the duty to tell him, but then I ask you: who gives you the right to judge what is good or bad for others? What if failure is one more step towards its growth?
You must support friends who dare, who undertake, who risk getting what they want. Do not feed your fears, feed your dreams.
6. Good luck
What others understand: no matter what you do, it does not depend on you. Luck is the one that you decide.
Never attribute the success of others to luck. People are where they are for what they are worth. Next time instead of good luck, try to “I think you’ll get it”, “I’m sure you can do it”. You will see how it improves.
Our words provoke emotions in others. Choose them well. I, as always, wait for you in the next one.
